If I Fell
by AllisonVictoriax
Summary: Bella and Edward are best friends. But Bella had always wanted more. What happens when the go to different colleges and reunite 5 years later? All-Human BxE First timer.!
1. Chapter 1: Faith

**A/N: Hey folks! I just wanted to thank you for taking the time out to check out my first ever fan fiction: If I Fell… I've been reading fan fiction for about a year so I decided that it was time to give it a shot. It should be around 20 something chapters by the time it's done. Please be patient with the updates. Ill try my best to do at least once or twice a week, maybe more often depending how inspired and non-busy I am. I hope it isn't horrible. But if it is feel free to give me some constructive criticism. Thanks a million!**

**Disclaimer: Much to my dismay, I don't own Twilight. If I did Emmett would be my big brother, Edward would never leave my house, and I'd go shopping with Alice every day.**

**Here goes nothing….**

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Ugh.

So here I am on a very rare sunny day in Forks, Washington, and where do I have to spend it? In school…fun right? Not a chance. Of course it didn't help that Alice insisted on taking me shopping that day either. The only reason I ever agreed to endure the torture that she calls "shopping" is because she told me Edward would be there.

_Edward._

Just his name made my heart skip and caused the butterflies in my stomach to start fluttering around. We've been best friends since that first fateful day back in kindergarten.

"_Hi I'm Edward! You're going to be my best friend forever and ever and ever and ever! Can I borrow your crayons?"_

Of course I let him borrow my crayons, I mean who wouldn't he was Edward Cullen, and supposedly my best friend. Ever since that day we've been inseparable. We even promised to marry each other when we got older. Cute right?

I've always had a crush on him but then when we reached middle school my feelings got pretty intense. I hid it though, Edward was very popular and I didn't want to weight him down. That's all I would do, I mean the stunningly gorgeous Edward should never have to be seen with someone as ordinary as me. I guess that's why he's with Tanya now.

Through the years we've still remained best friends even if we are in two different worlds. However I wish we were so much more than friends. Edward was perfect, he loved the classics, he was sweet, gentlemanly, he cared for me, he was protective and not to mention extremely handsome. He gives me compliments on a daily basis just to boost my self-confidence, and when he tells me he loves me he truly means it, just not the way I do.

_Never_ the way I do.

There's always that little voice in my head that says "What if he does love you like you love him? Have some faith Bella!" But I tell it to shut up. I don't need anymore people telling me that they think this will work out when it won't.

The only people I've told about my feelings are Alice, Rose, Jasper, and Emmett. Alice Cullen is Edward's twin sister/pixie and my second best friend next to Edward. When I told her my feelings about Edward she squealed and told me that it will all work out she could "feel it". That's another thing about Alice; she has these strange "feelings" about what's going to happen and usually she's right. The one thing she's wrong about Edward and me though. Rosalie Hale (but I call her Rose) is Emmett's girlfriend and one of my closest friends, we fight a lot but we always run back apologizing to each other an hour later, that's why I love her. Jasper Hale is Rose's twin brother and Alice's other half. He's a very calming person who's always there when I need to vent my frustrations. And last but certainly not least there's Emmett Cullen, my big teddy-bear. He's Alice and Edward's immensely huge adoptive brother. He looks like a body-builder but on the inside he's just a huge ball of goofy fluff. When I told all of them they encouraged me to tell Edward, but I couldn't face the rejection I knew was coming.

I sat in my English class barely listening to the teacher drone on and on about Haikus. I just doodled on my notebook and thought about how amazing my best friends were and how leaving them in a week after we graduated was going to be hell on earth.

You see I got accepted to Seattle University, where the Cullens and the Hales all got accepted to Dartmouth. This is the first time I'll ever be away from all of them for more than 3 days.

I was snapped out of my depressing reverie by the bell ringing. Grabbing my stuff, I ran out of the classroom eager to meet with Edward and head off to lunch. I guess I wasn't paying attention when I ran straight into Edward, my own personal god. I dropped my books and waited for the impact of my fall to hit me, until I realized I was being held up by a pair of very strong arms.

"Bella, what am I going to do with you?" He sighed while picking me up.

_I could think of a few things you could do to me_.

I bent down to pick up my books and as I looked up I was met by a pair of bright green eyes full of worry.

"Bella are you okay?" He asked while grasping my shoulders. His touch sent electric currents throughout my whole body. I wonder if he feels it too.

"Um, yeah I'm fine. Just falling like usual. Thanks for catching me. I'd probably be dead right now if you hadn't ever saved me from falling my whole life." I said half-jokingly.

A look of pain crossed his face as he contemplated my words.

"Bella don't you even joke about that. You know I could never lose you." He said telling the complete truth.

Blushing I said, "I know, I know. Now let's get to lunch I'm starving!" It was the truth; I was so hungry it was insane. I heard Edward chuckle as turned and went to go put my books in my locker.

"Ready to go madam?" He asked in his perfect velvet voice as he extended his hand to me.

I looked at his hand with mock horror "Edward what would Tanya think if she saw us?!"

"Yeah you're right, we don't want you getting killed today now do we?" he said while winking.

"Of course not, I'm too young to die." I said as we marched toward the cafeteria together.

Edward chucked and smiled the breathtaking crooked smile that he only saved for me.

_God he was perfect._

As we walked into the lunch room Edward was immediately tackled by Tanya. I did my best to ignore them and reign in the hurt that was threatening to form across my face.

When I turned towards my table I wasn't surprised to find both the Cullens and the Hales glaring at Tanya. I don't blame them. She was evil and conniving all wrapped up into a gorgeous package. Tanya was the prettiest and most popular girl at school, and she had absolutely no substance what so ever but maybe that's how Edward likes them now.

After I returned to the table after buying my lunch I tried my best to ignore Edward and the witch playing tonsil hockey. I turned toward Alice; she'd divert my attention for a while.

My assumptions were correct when she started squealing.

"Bella, Bella, Bella! Our family has decided to have a huge party for all the graduates! You wanna come?!" she practically screamed while bouncing in her seat.

I chuckled at her extreme excitement and replied "Yeah, I'd love to Alice."

She jumped out of her seat and ran over to me and gave me a huge hug.

"Oh Bella! You have to let me pick out your outfit! And Rose can do your hair..." I just blocked her out as her and Rose talked about colors that would compliment my skin tone. I've learned with Alice that you can't fight with her about these kinds of things, she gets her way somehow. It's easier to just accept it and move on.

I heard a light moan from beside me and I had to hold back the throw-up that threatened to spill out. Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore.

_Doesn't he know how much that hurts me?_

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**So…? How was it?**

**You see that little button? Click it and review!**

**Song for this chapter: ****Faith by George Michael**

**Chapter 2 should be up sometime this week =]**


	2. Chapter 2: Do You Sleep?

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read chapter 1 and put my story on alert! You guys are the best! I'll try to reply to all of the reviews =]**

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish it wasn't true…I don't own Twilight….*sob***

**And now onto chapter 2…**

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The rest of school passed in a blur. The majority of my time I was daydreaming about Edward. Yeah, I know it's pretty lame, but no matter how hard I try to focus my attention elsewhere it always leads me back to the same place, _him_. I hate referring to Edward as _him_ but I don't know if my little heart could handle all of the fast-paced thrumming that occurs when I say his name.

As soon as the bell rang I sprinted out of class to meet Edward again. Alice and I were riding with him in his Volvo to the mall today. When Edward wasn't at his locker I figured he was outside waiting in the car. As I walked through the front doors I noticed Edward was leaning against his car with Tanya practically straddling him. Now I don't care if they do this in they're own time because I can convince myself it isn't happening, but seriously, a school parking lot? With all faculty and students there to see you. I find that disgusting.

I immediately felt uneasy and started to slow my pace, dreading the moment I got within earshot of their conversation, or lack of one I should say.

Eventually when I reached the Volvo, Edward snapped his head up after hearing me arrive and jumped out from underneath Tanya, practically pushing her to the ground. He ran over and pulled me into a hug, smiling the whole time. Tanya just glared at me while she dusted herself off.

After Edward pulled away I decided to be the bigger person and greet Tanya, Edward and her were only getting closer so I guess I should at least attempt to be friendly.

"Hey Tanya!" I smiled.

"Hi." She said curtly. I didn't get what her problem was with me; I was always friendly to her even though she treated me like a bag of crap.

I brushed her curtness aside and continued "How are you today?"

"I _was_ good." She said snidely "Until a little bitch came and ruined it." She muttered the last part under her breath.

I pretended not to hear it and asked "What was that Tanya?" while adding some unnecessary sweetness to my voice and batting my eyelashes.

Realizing she was caught her eyes got wide "Um, I-I said I'm good." She stammered.

I started snickering when I remembered Edward was still standing beside me with a confused expression on his face, I guess he didn't hear what his precious little Tanya said.

"Bella!" I heard Alice yell from behind me. I turned to see Alice skipping towards the car credit cards in her hand.

"And let the fun begin." I whispered to Edward, he chuckled while I turned to face Alice's direction "Hey, Alice."

"You ready for the best shopping trip ever?!" she said looking like she was bouncing on a pogo stick.

I sighed, "Alice you say that every time we go shopping, but I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I decided to throw in a fake smile at the end just for good measure.

"Good! Because we are going to have so much fun, and I'm picking out your outfit for the party!" she said giddily while clapping her hands.

"There's no way I could possibly get out of this, right?" I said, silently pray that there was.

"Nope." She said popping the P. "Now get in the car, I'd like to be back by dark."

I sighed and got into the passenger's seat while waiting for Edward to say goodbye to Tanya.

It was like watching a train-wreck, I really needed to look away but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I watched as he whispered to her and she giggled, I watched as he kissed her and then when I watched him say the words "I love you" to her I nearly broke-down.

_Why couldn't that be me? _

I looked to Alice with tears in my eyes and she just gave me a sad smile and looked away. I quickly wiped away my tears before Edward could see them.

The car ride to the mall was strangely silent. I was still uncomfortable about earlier, Alice was upset with her brother, and Edward was content in the silence.

As soon as we walked into the mall Alice pulled me toward the dress store and Edward went off to the record store, in the opposite direction.

As we were walking around racks browsing through the hundreds of dresses Alice decided to break the silence.

"So, my brother is an idiot, huh?" she said knowingly.

"It's not his fault Alice. I mean I'm the one who won't tell him my feelings, and he is a guy, which makes him completely oblivious to everything love related." I sighed.

"You have a point, but Bella you really need to tell him. You guys would be so happy together I can feel it! You can't let this eat away at you forever." She urged.

"Alice, how many times have I told you, you're wrong about me and Edward? He has Tanya and I don't deserve someone like him, yes maybe we would be happy, but Edward would never take that chance with me. And even if he did love me like that, we're best friends. What would happen if it didn't work out?" I ranted.

"I don't know Bella, but you can't know until you try right? You guys have been best friends since kindergarten, I'm sure you could make it through that." She said thoughtfully.

"Sure Alice. Let's just let it go for now okay, I'm supposed to be having fun remember?" Yeah, and I'm having _so_ much fun right now.

"Fine, but later we will talk. But now you will try on dresses." She said as she handed me 5 royal blue and navy colored dresses.

"I'll be right out."

After trying on all of the dresses I decided on the last one I tried on. I put it on and even Alice had nothing to say, she was speechless. It was navy blue with one braided shoulder strap. It was tight at the top and then flowed to an end around 2 inches above my knees. Even I loved it.

After picking out shoes, accessories, and finding Edward we headed back out to the car.

The drive back was a little louder than the drive there earlier. Edward was persistent about seeing the dress I bought but Alice just told him that it was a surprise and he'd have to wait until the party. He wasn't very happy about this but continued to guess anyways.

When we got back to my house Edward, being the gentleman he is, walked me to my door.

When we got to my door I broke the silence by saying "Thanks for driving today Edward. I had a really good time."

"No problem, I'm glad Alice didn't torture too much." He said while chuckling.

"She wasn't too bad. Well I better get going. Tell you family I love them." I said smiling.

"Okay I will." He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward." I said as I turned and walked into my house.

Once I got past my dad I ran upstairs a flopped onto my bed. I found myself thinking about Alice's word earlier "You can't know until you try".

Soon enough I was pulled out of consciousness and into a dream land full of what could be.

_I can't know until I try… _

**There ya go! =]**

**That little button down there is good for many things. **

**Song for this chapter is : Do You Sleep by Lisa Loeb**


	3. Chapter 3: I Can't Make You Love Me

**A/N: I'm glad everyone likes the story so far. While being fueled by something in my personal life I decided this next chapter should get done while the heartbreak is fresh, so sorry if I get a little too over emotional.**

**P.S. Bella, Alice, and Rose's party dresses are in my profile. I want them, they're pretty. =]**

**Disclaimer: No Twilight for Allie. ='[**

The rest of my week passed in a blur. All I was hearing around school was about how great the Cullen's party was going to be and how great it was to finally be over with school.

I wasn't sure how I felt about leaving school. It was great because I didn't have to get up early every morning. But I've had some of the best times of my life here, so many fun times and inside jokes with my best friends. Not to mention I was dreading leaving all of them to head off to college.

Before I knew it was a graduation day morning and I was putting on some jeans and a t-shirt to wear under my robe. I had to dig through my luggage to find what I wanted because all of my things were packed up to leave for Seattle tomorrow afternoon.

I can't believe this is it. High school is over and now I have to finally be an adult, on my own, with no best friends or family there to support me. That's a scary thought.

After grabbing my cap and gown, I ran downstairs and grabbed a granola bar on my way out of the house. I jumped into my truck and put the keys in the ignition. After it roared to life I pulled out of my driveway and sped to the school hoping to get there early.

When I got to Forks High I noticed that all of the Cullens and the Hales had the same idea as I and decided to get here early. I hopped out of my truck and ran towards my adopted family but when I reached them I realized something was missing.

"Where's Edward?" I asked slightly out of breath.

"He's picking up _Tanya_." Rose said disgust prominent in her voice.

"Oh…" I sighed, disappointed.

"Bella you need to tell him!" Emmett said in his big booming voice.

"Ugh! Not you too?! I can't believe this! All I've heard this past week is 'tell Edward, tell Edward, tell Edward!' Can we just drop it for one day please?!" I practically yelled.

"Fine Bella, but it needs to happen soon." Jasper said trying to calm me.

"I know, I know. It's just so hard you know?" I said confused.

I started thinking about telling Edward my feelings when a certain silver Volvo pulled into the space beside us. I immediately got butterflies but they suddenly stopped when I remembered who else was in that car with the love of my life.

"Hey guys" Edward said while getting out of the car, pulling Tanya with him.

"Hey" we all said in unison.

Edward looked gorgeous as usual. He struck up a conversation with Jasper about lord knows what. I certainly wasn't paying attention. I was too busy remembering what everyone looked like, how they laughed, and how much I was going to miss them.

I snapped out of my trance when the principal called everyone to get into alphabetical order. Alice, Edward, and Emmett went to stand with the "Cs", Tanya with the "Ds", Jasper and Rose with the "Hs" and I way back with the "S" people. I threw on my cap and gown and waited for the ceremony to start. I watched as all of my friends took the stage to get their diplomas, dancing a little as they crossed the stage. When it was my turn to cross the stage I blushed and thanked the principal as I passed. When I looked for my family I saw Charlie with a proud smile on his face, my mom (who had flown up from Jacksonville) was in tears and all of my friends were jumping around clapping and shouting.

As soon as the last person walked off the stage we threw our hats up and screamed. After that it was a blur. I was pulled into so many hugs from different directions I nearly got whiplash.

Before I knew it I was being dragged to Alice's house to get ready for the party. As soon as I was pulled into Alice's room Rose started yanking on my hair while Alice did my make-up. After and hour of hair tugging and opening and closing my eyes I was done and needed to put on my dress. After I slipped into it I looked into the mirror. I had to stare for a few minutes before I could comprehend that that girl I was looking at was me. I looked beautiful. Those girls worked wonders.

After I tore my eyes away from the mirror I turned to see Alice and Rose were already dressed and ready to go.

Alice was wearing a cute strapless dress that was blue leopard print covered with a layer of black sheer material, with a blue silk ribbon to form an empire waist. Rose looked amazing in a red silk dress with one shoulder strap with a bow on it; it had an empire waist also and was pleated in the front.

They looked gorgeous.

As we walked down the stairs I had the immense pleasure of watching all three boys' mouths drop open.

"Wow Bella, you look…wow." Edward struggled when I approached him.

"Thanks Edward. You don't look too bad yourself." I replied.

Just then almost everyone in our graduating class and the junior class came flooding into the Cullen household, which had been transformed into a trendy night club to house the party.

Edward stopped spending time with me once Tanya showed up, looking skanky as ever. So, I decided to spend some time with Alice and Rose I actually had a lot of fun, and I even danced a few times.

When a slow song came onto the speakers I started to walk off the dance floor just as a strong hand grabbed my wrist and turned me around, as I came face to face with Edward.

"May I have this dance?" He asked unsurely.

"Of course." I replied politely.

He led me back onto the dance floor as we started swaying to the music.

"So where's Tanya?" I asked curiously.

"She's somewhere, but now I need time with my best friend." He said smiling down at me. I smiled back happily, enjoying every second of this.

Edward decided to break my blissful silence by saying some horrible words.

"Bella I think Tanya's the _one_." He stated confidently. With those six words my life was put on hold.

What?! No! Is he trying to hurt me on purpose? I knew he liked her but I thought he'd grow out of it, not marry her!

"No…." I said shakily in a low whisper. "No!" I said stronger this time, almost yelling.

"Bella what's wrong?" Edward asked worriedly

"Edward you can't!" I said with tears in my eyes.

"Why not?" He asked incredulous.

"Because I love you Edward." Oh. Crap. Did I just let that slip?

"I Love you too Bella, but what's wrong?" he said. He obviously didn't get my previous statement.

"No Edward! I'm _in_ love with you. I have been since kindergarten! It's slowly eaten away at me all this time and I can't do it anymore! I can't pretend not to have feelings for you and to tone them down every time I see you. I'm in love with you Edward…I always have been and always will be." I said, loud and clear, tears flowing freely down my face.

"Oh." Was all he said. That one word was all I needed to know he didn't love me. That one word is what broke my resolve to be strong. That _one_ little word ended a fourteen year long friendship.

I couldn't handle it anymore, so I turned on my heel and walked away. Away from the love of my life who just stood there still in shock on the dance floor. Away from my friends, and after picking up my luggage, away from Forks, away from my home.

And on the whole ride to Seattle there was only one thought clouding my mind.

_He never even called to see if I was okay… _

**So there you have it. Straight off the heartbreak express.**

**Review it. Let me know it wasn't too lame.**

**Song for this chapter: I Can't Make You Love Me by George Michael**


	4. Chapter 4: Send Me On My Way

**A/N: So, last chapter was pretty emotional, huh? Yeah, definitely rough writing. This chapter might be pretty short considering its 10p.m. and I have work tomorrow. It should tide you over till I can write a longer one.**

**Disclaimer: Allie doesn't own Twilight. She really wants to, but life doesn't always work in her favor.**

_Away from my friends, and after picking up my luggage, away from Forks, away from my home. _

_And on the whole ride to Seattle there was only one thought clouding my mind. _

_He never even called to see if I was okay… _

It's been a month since I fled from Forks, and still Edward hasn't called once. I've talked to everybody else in the Cullen and Hale family, except him.

Did my little slip really make him hate me so much?

But seriously, if he were a good friend he would have at least called to ask if I was okay, or to say he didn't want to be friends anymore. I would have understood. I never had the right to fall in love with him. He never had any say in it; it was my fault so he must be upset with me.

It wasn't like Edward to run away from his problems, so I knew he couldn't just be avoiding me. He had to be upset with me that was the only thing that made sense.

Just as I was starting to get emotional, my roommates Angela and Jessica came into the room.

Since I had gone to Seattle I had made more friends than I thought I would. Angela was quiet and shy but was a very good listener, kind of like the female version of Jasper. Jessica, my other roommate, was very peppy, and kind of gossipy, which could get annoying but I loved her all the same. Mike was like a little puppy following me around everywhere, sometimes he could get on my nerves, but I'd be lying if I said that he wasn't a good friend. Then there was Ben, Eric, and Tyler who were all big goofballs and were constantly pulling hilarious practical jokes. I was happy, well as happy as I could be with a huge hole in my chest. I had my new little family here.

They will never amount to the old one, but I have to make do with what I can.

"Hey Bella, there's a frat party tonight that the gangs gunna go to, Wanna come?" Jessica asked while popping her gum.

I seriously contemplated going but then I remembered all of the political science homework I had. "Sorry guys, but I have a lot of Poly Sci homework to do before I even consider partying." I said sincerely. I really did want to go. That's another thing about college; it made me more outgoing, which could get me in trouble sometimes but I liked to look on the bright side.

"Oh okay." Angela said.

"We probably won't see you until tomorrow then." Jess said winking

I chuckled "Okay Jess, we'll see."

Soon after they left I started on my homework, it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. So with time to spare I took a shower and changed into some sweats before drifting off to sleep.

_I was in a beautiful old Victorian house all by myself. But I could hear children running around somewhere._

"_Hello?" I said as two adorable little children ran inside from out back._

"_Mommy!" they screamed in unison while hugging my legs._

_Wait. Mommy? Did this mean I had kids? But with who?_

_My silent questions were answered when Edward turned the corner and kissed me with intensity. _

"_EWW!" I heard the kids yell. Wait. I still hadn't gotten a good look at them._

_I broke away from Edward and stared down at the two beautiful children below me. One was a little boy who looked to be around four years old. He had bronze hair just like his father but had chocolate brown eyes just like I did. The second child was a little girl who looked about five or six. She had long wavy dark brown locks, just like I with emerald green eyes like her father. They most definitely looked like our children._

"_Hey kids why don't you give your mother and I some alone time, go ahead and play." Edward said uneasily._

_The kids reluctantly walked away to start playing in the other room._

"_Bella I think we should talk…" Edward said. Uh-oh. I don't like where this conversation is going._

_I just nodded for fear my voice might break, and sat down on the sofa._

"_Bella, you know I'll always love you and the kids in a way. But Bella I can't do this anymore, I'm in love with Tanya. Not you." Edward said confidently._

I shot out of bed screaming "NO!" with tears streaming down my face. I wiped them away for the millionth time. Every night I had a nightmare about Edward leaving me for Tanya, but last night's was the worst. There had never been kids involved in my dreams before so this just made it more horrific that I had to care for children with a father that "loved them _in a way_." I looked to the clock a noted that it was only 10:30, I had only been asleep for 30 minutes and I already had a nightmare about _him_.

All of the sudden I heard high-pitched ringing. What the heck is that?! I scrounged around until I found my cell phone that was buzzing. I froze when I read the caller ID on the front screen.

_Edward….._

**Sorry for the cliffy but the conversation would have been draining and I have other plans that will correspond to it. Just warning you the next chapter will be intense. And don't be too surprised if I don't get to update tomorrow night, it's my brothers last night at home before he leaves to go to college again so we're going out to dinner.**

**Anywayys……tell me what you think!!!!**

**Song for this chapter: Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root**

**Ah-maz-ing song, I might add.**


	5. Chapter 5: Use Somebody

**A/N: Okay, So I decided that since I upset a lot of people by leaving you dangling from a 50 ft cliff, that I'd make it up to you by putting off my History project that is due Monday and doing this instead. Tomorrow I might be too busy with my project to update but I won't be as suspenseful so it will be better.**

**P.S. I know some of you think I'm the murderer of love but I promise you won't think of me like that by the end of this story.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Twilight, there's no need to rub it in. =/ **

_I froze when I read the caller ID on the front screen._

_Edward….._

"Hello?" I breathed. I've been planning out this conversation for a month and everything I planned to say just went out the window.

"Bella?" a velvety voice said. But this voice wasn't the same as I remembered. It was lifeless and tortured.

"Yes..." I said questioningly. I didn't know what he wanted me to say, so I just went with the simplest answer.

"Bella…." He whispered. He sounded….relieved. Why? Why would he care? He's the one who never called.

"Yes?" I said a little annoyed that this phone call was a month late.

"Bella, why did you leave without saying anything?" he asked sounding pained. For one second I felt guilty about what I did but then I remembered why and I built back up the walls I worked so hard to build around myself.

"Because I had to." I answered. It was short, simple, and to the point.

"Bella, you didn't _have_ to do anything…." He said sounding slightly angry.

I paused confused. Why would he be so upset? He has everything he needs, a loving family, a girlfriend that he loves, and he's at Dartmouth. I wouldn't be complaining.

"Yes I did Edward." I said with an edge. I was doing okay until he had to call, and now he was turning it on him like he was the victim?

"Bella, we all wanted you there, every single one of us." He said sincerely.

"Edward, I didn't want to be there anymore." I told him. It was harsh but it was needed.

"Why the hell not?! You were surrounded by family and friends and people that loved you! That doesn't sound all that horrible. How could you have just left without telling anyone Bella?! How could you have done that to my family?! How could you have done that to _me_?" He yelled hysterically.

When I didn't answer he continued.

"I thought you were supposed to be my friend? My _best_ friend. Just because you didn't get your way didn't mean you had to be extremely selfish and make a rash decision! Why would you hurt me like that? Do you enjoy my pain? Did you leave because you were upset that I love Tanya and not you? You really couldn't let me go? That's pathetic Bella and you know it! What kind of friend are you? Hell, what kind of _person_ are you?" He screamed.

I let the tears fall down my face as I realized that I should be saying the same things to him.

"You took the words right out of my mouth." I said while voice broke.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?! I did nothing wrong and you know it! It was your fault anyways! You know what; I don't even know why I was ever friends with you. You are such a horrible person. This is _exactly_ why I never have and _never will_ love you." As he said that I let a sob escape my body. Because he was wrong, I should be saying those exact words to him but I wasn't and that is what made me the better person, not a "horrible" person.

"Goodbye, Edward. Have fun with Tanya." I said sniffling.

I heard Edward scream something on the other line but I hung up before I could make out what he said.

I cried for a few more minutes until I had the sudden urge to do something crazy.

I thought about the party that Jess and Angie went to and decided that I would show up and maybe have a drink or two.

I dried my tears and got off of my bed to change into some party clothes and I left the dorm going towards that frat house that the party was in.

As soon as I walked in I was bombarded by loud music and people dancing and drinking.

"Bella! You came!" I heard Angela call.

I turned to see Angela with a red cup in her hand. I ran up to her and grabbed the drink out of her hands, gulping it down at super speed.

"Yeah I came! Now let's go get another drink." I said. I could already feel the alcohol in my system, but it wasn't enough to numb my pain. I needed more.

Angie chuckled and sighed "Okay Bella let's go."

The rest of the night went on in that fashion. I would gulp down a drink, dance with a random guy and then go get another drink and the pattern continued. That is until I met this guy named Jacob. I didn't dance with any other guys except for him after I met him. I continued to drink and have fun until Jacob and I sat down on a couch. The last thing I remember was leaning in.

I awoke in the morning with a start. This wasn't my room, where was I? I looked around frantically until I realized that someone was in bed beside me. He looked familiar….what was his name? As I was sorting through the foggy memories of last night he stirred and I got a good look at his face. Jacob! That was his name, he was sweet, I liked him, he made me forget.

"Jake." I said shaking him. He mumbled something and turned over. "Jake wake up!" I shook him harder.

He finally opened his eyes and looked at me with shock. And then a look of realization crossed his face.

"Hey" He smiled.

"Good morning sleepyhead." I said. I took that time to note that I had been changed….uh-oh.

"Wait I have a question..." he nodded and urged me to continue. "We didn't…..did we?" I asked, truly frightened of his answer.

"Oh no! Of course not. We sat down on the couch and you leaned onto my shoulder and passed out. I carried you up here and got your friends to change you." He answered.

"Oh okay. Good." I smiled.

I sighed, "I better get going. Jess and Angie are probably worried about me." I reluctantly got out from underneath the warm covers, found the bathroom and changed back into my old clothes.

I walked into what I assumed was Jacob's room to find him staring out the window. I walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped but then smiled when he saw it was only me.

"Thanks for taking care of me Jacob. From what I remembered of last night you were a really sweet and genuine guy." I smiled.

"No problem, anytime. But before you leave…" he ran to his nightstand and pulled out a paper and pen. After he wrote something on it he handed the paper to me. "It's my number. Call me sometime. I'd love to hang out with you when you aren't intoxicated." He said with a smirk.

"I'll have to take you up on that. Thanks again." I said as I walked out of his room.

On my way back to my dorm I couldn't get Jacob out of my head.

_Maybe I could forget_.

**So there it is =]**

**The conversation between Edward and Bella was intense to write but I think it came out okay. Don't worry; Edward won't be a jerk through the whole story. He'll realize his mistakes. Oh and this is not a Bella and Jacob story it is a Bella and Edward story. Just be patient. **

**And just to clear it up Edward and Tanya are still together.**

**Review? I think so.**

**Song for this chapter is: Use Somebody by Kings Of Leon**


	6. Chapter 6: For What It's Worth

**A/N: Okay so I know a lot of you are mad that I haven't updated in like 2 days but I've been really busy with school. But guess what?! I'm 99% sure that I wont have school tomorrow, so who knows. Maybe you'll get 2 chapters tomorrow? **

**Disclaimer: I wish Stephenie Meyer would let me have Twilight, but she won't ='[**

_5 years later_

As Jake was getting the car I started thinking of all of the things that have happened over the years.

The first year of college, the year I met Jake, I was so upset about Edward that I went into a depression, drinking and partying constantly, this went on for about 2 months. Until Jake finally helped me out of it, he became my best friend, the person I could tell anything to. Eventually we both decided to take our friendship to the next level and try dating. We immediately knew that we were meant to be, so we continued seeing each other all through college, until about 3 months ago. That's when Jake proposed to me. It was so sweet and I loved him so I said yes.

Now we were graduated from college and Jake was coming with me to meet my family, as well as my extended family, the Cullens.

Not a day passed by where I didn't think about them. Especially Edward, his words still haunted me to this day. I decided a long time ago that I couldn't be sad about Edward anymore, I spent too long crying over him and now I had a great new life, and he was not going to screw this up.

Just then I felt two warm arms wrap around my waist.

"Hello." I said smiling.

"Hey, Bells." He said casually.

I turned around in his embrace and kissed him on the cheek. "Come, on. We should get going and see my dad. I guess he invited all of the Cullens over so we wouldn't have to make multiple trips." I said.

"How kind of him." He said through gritted teeth. Jake was still very upset with how Edward treated me. We'd be lucky if no one ended up getting punched while on this trip.

"Jake, be a good boy." I said mockingly.

"Fine, I'll try. I can't promise anything though." He sighed.

The whole ride back to Forks I was bouncing with excitement. I couldn't wait to see my family again.

When we parked in my driveway I ran up to the door and knocked. I know it was stupid to knock, I mean it was my house, but I just wanted it to be a surprise. However the person I saw at the door was not who I was expecting.

Tanya.

She just glared at me and slammed the door in my face. I was so shocked I just stood there. One the other side of the door I heard Tanya say "Oh! Don't worry it was just like, a Jehovah Witness person." Just as stupid as ever.

Now I was angry this was my house, not hers. What was she thinking?! I pounded furiously on the door. Hoping someone would answer. Finally after a good minute of pounding the door flew open to reveal the witch again, she was about to slam the door but I put my hand on the door to stop her.

"Now, now Tanya I see you haven't changed much. This is _my_ house, not yours in case your tiny little brain doesn't remember. Now step aside I'd like to see my family." I said glaring the whole time. She just scoffed, flipped her hair and moved over to Edward. After she moved I could see all of the Cullens, Hales, and my dad staring at me wide eyed.

"What?" I said confused.

Alice, of course was the first to speak up.

"The Bella I used to know would never say that to someone's face." She said in awe.

"Well the old Bella has changed a lot." I said glaring at Edward. His face immediately looked hurt and pained. I looked away before I could feel guilty, when I was attacked in a huge bear hug.

"Em--Can't--Breathe!" I hyperventilated. He instantly set me down and ruffled my hair.

"Sorry Bells." He gave me an apologetic smile. " I just missed you so much!"

I laughed and replied "I missed you too Emmett. All of you." I said looking at everybody except Edward and Tanya.

After that I was attacked in hugs from all sides. I had completely forgotten about Jake until I heard him clear his throat. I turned around and smiled at him motioning for him to come forward.

"Guys, this is my fiancé Jacob." I said staring at him lovingly.

I looked back for see everybody except for Alice and my dad staring with shock. Alice was bouncing with what I assumed was excitement, and my dad already knew considering Jake asked permission from him before he asked me to marry him.

"You're getting married?" Edward said softly, his voice full of hurt.

"Yes, Edward. Does this bother you?" I said, ice filling my voice.

"No." he said quietly while looking at the floor.

"Good." I said.

After that little intense moment everybody started talking to Jake. I think they were really starting to warm up to him. We were sitting all sitting on the couch when someone came up beside me and tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned to see Edward staring at me intensely.

"Bella, can I talk to you privately, please." He asked.

Jake just glared at him but I ignored it and answered "Yeah, sure."

Edward took me into my old bedroom and shut the door behind us. He just sat on my bed staring at the floor. I took that time to remember just how gorgeous he was. He was breathtaking. Just as I thought that his head snapped up. He looked like he was holding back tears.

"Bella, I'm sorry." He said sincerely.

"For what Edward?" I asked innocently. He wasn't going to get away that easily.

"You know for what Bella. For when I told you I hated you and that you were a horrible person. Not too long after that I realized what you meant when you said I took the words out of your mouth. I know that I really can't take it back but Bella I am so very, very sorry." He said with a tortured expression.

"Edward do you even know what you left me like. I was broken. I went out every night and partied and got drunk so I could try to forget about you Edward. I went into a state of depression knowing that my once best friend hated me and was out at Dartmouth living his life happily with his family and his girlfriend. Nobody was there for _me_ Edward. You broke me and left me to fend for myself. What did you expect?!" I said hysterically

"What about Jake, huh? You seem pretty fine and dandy with him!" Edward said desperately.

"I was lucky to find Jake. The night you called I went to a party and got blasted and _he_ took care of me. If you're upset at him, don't be, because it's your fault he found me in the first place. If you hadn't left me in pieces Jacob wouldn't have had to put me back together." I said angrily.

He looked at me like I had just slapped him across the face.

"You're right Bella. It is my fault. I'm sorry." He said again.

I sighed "Edward, I don't know what you want me to do. You know how I feel about you. And I certainly know your feelings for me—"

He cut me off saying "You don't know how I feel about you. Whatever you think I feel is probably wrong." He said with confidence.

"Oh really?! And how exactly do you feel about me?" I said frantically.

What happened next took me completely by surprise. He took me face in his hands and kissed me. I was too in shock to respond at first but after awhile I gave in and started kissing him back. Our lips molded perfectly to each other. After about 30 seconds we broke apart, our foreheads resting against each other, gasping for air.

"You still love me don't you?" Edward asked wearing his crooked smile.

Right then reality came back to slap me in the face. I had a fiancé, Edward had Tanya.

"I have to get back to Jake." I said with tears running down my face.

Edward looked hurt and I wanted to comfort him so badly, but I couldn't it wasn't that easy anymore.

So I turned and walked away from him again.

_Do I still love him?......_

**A/N: So there it is. Bam! I know I know, Bella's being all moody, but if someone who did the Mexican hat dance on your heart came back wouldn't you like to have the chance to tell him off? I definitely would. **

**P.S. Major plot twists are coming!!!**

**Song for this chapter: For What It's Worth by Amber Pacific**


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